my confession

why this feeling is hurting me so much? how can i forget about it? i don't want to feel like this...always feeling guilty on him, even he is the one who made mistakes.
i don't want to feel lonely too... it will be so empty if he wasn't here
staying beside me...
i know, how much i love him, so does he
i have given everything to him, but he didn't give any respect
fristly, i thought the love that i gave him will be everlasting...but now i know, that's wrong
this love can't be everlasting, because i knew that he didn't have the same perception like me...we're different now...
not going to be same as before, as i hope...no...
for my dearest God,
please give me some ways to solve this problems
let me love you more tahn i love him...
i know you always being here for me, to help me, to give me the everlasting love
please, now help me through this problems toughly, strongly, patiently
until i can get back who i am, as Your human...