i am not in the verge of my hiding things...but i am just nothin, anyways
i am on the edge of my self-awareness when i looked down and fall
suspicious
fascinating enough
fallen away like stars in the sky give me some sign of making wish
a luck that always following me behind
in the time when i didnt need any of those reality facts
for what anyways?
when i could be better without knowing that kind of things
wasting time,though it is simple and smaller than a spot
i m just kind of silly girl that trying to run away from everything, extremely afraid of being hurt
silly isnt it?
but for what i am thinking about it anyways?
it is not disturbing anybody, though i am thinking bout it much
just forget it
nothing could guess what i mean, anyways...

you come into my dream, make it comes true
i can feel the way that you do it
the sweetest, softness, the patiently that you give
but, it is just a moment, i cant feel the way that you did it anymore

somehow, i still can feel your warmness, when you touch my head
somehow, i still can feel your love, when you see deep inside my eyes
and somehow, i can loose it

now, this is the time

to let you go. to leaveyou forever

cause you wont be and never be mine

i have to know more about me, my self
what i have hide inside
what i have looking for in my life
but then, i havent knew how to do it
when i asked to You, my dearest God
i can find everything
but i realized again, why i have to be born?
why i m still living in here, anyways?
what i have to discover in this world, anyways?

My dear God, i m sorry if i were asking too much, i m just a lil girl who tried to surf along this world, and finding what i m looking for..

it is complicated for me, i m just trying to figure it out

but God, i m just asking, anyways

when i knew that loving someone can help me survived in this world, i won't stop
i m in love
it is the time when my world is all about him, all around him
i m in my blissful
but, the time stops
when i realized that everything i do is just a fake
a fake love actually
i m in love with someone that never in love with me
how come?
why i never saw it from the beginning?
i tried to figure it out, but nothing that i found
it is all fade away
disappear
it is just a crazy thing that make me surrendered and want to ended my life
because,
at the end, i will just feel the pain and sorrow
and in the rest of my life, nothing will i have

my blissful, has gone

someday i learnt how to survive myself in this world
it is hard to be explained
somehow i tried to walked alone in emptiness
but all i got is just something that i cant understand at all
it is something that people said that everyone cant live alone in this world, cant survive by being alone...
i looked forward, wondering about my future
but then, i found nothing
i am stuck in here, in this damn life
what do i have to ask to myself?
why do i have to doubt on myself?
i cant find something that i used to know but now i dont know at all
it is something really strange and miserable
i cant imagine how i survived in this world without knowing nothing
in fact, i m still in here
doing my reality facts that give me some ways to know

God ... that's what i mean
i know He is here for me, give me strength to survive in this world
whenever it is, eherever i am ...
Thank you ... deeply down in my heart ...

i love someone that i cant reach at all
i should have realized about that
i should have to know about the risk that i take
why i have just known it now?
when my heart is spinning all over him
when my thought is just everything around him
why do i have to realized?
how this damn feeling is killing me inside
broke my heart
what do i have to convince about when i knew nothing can be convinced
its just a damn thing that i still keep in here for the rest of strength that i have
what do i have to be honest about and for whom i have to be honest?
no one!
no one could understand what is deep inside of my heart
its just something that i cant tell anybody
its just me and all the painful that i have got is just for me
no one, would be me who feel this pain
pain of loving someone that wouldnt be exist and real for me...
no one ...

it is time when we have to look backward, when everything is going bad
nowhere else we can realize, that this life is damn too fast
times make us different from day to day, months to months, seconds to seconds
and here we are, secretly in this damn world
still doing everything bad, make our life become worse
here we are with all the worst thing that we have been through
without any wonder to apology or changed everything good
but after all this time-this realizing time
we have learnt what is the true meaning of life
in the time when we shared each other, in time when we helped each other, in the time when wvwerything passed with love
that is what life means for...
and for all of the life, the soul, the time that He has given to us, we have to say thank you to God...
in the time when we still being alive with everything that we have got
in every bad things and also good things that we have
and for who we are...

a liar

you left me naked alone, behind the opened door
that was the time that i realized i have to look backward
used my imaginary that you were there hold my breathe
how i know that you were not always being there to hold my hands with everything that you have...
i confused
i surrendered
why i never realized that the time is getting less,
how this worlds is too damn fast rolling on its center
i never realized
i am just walking looking down with nothing that i can see
liar - maybe that is the word that reflecting me
i m just lying to my self
to my heart and everything in it
i am lying that i can keep you there with me
i am lying that i ever convinced my self you are the best for me
i am a looser for my self, even...

in fact i dont want to be a liar or even a loser
but, then again ..


i am a liar also a loser for my self