i have come beneath my self-possessed
reduce your shadows, dismantle the memories which is following
i conceded my self to do that and forget you
then, the reality so does the fact convinced me that i can't
how pitiful is my life...
i am not blind, to see your behavior
but good things always come from you
like no other did... the fact give me the words
my leader
then, you resuscitatethe painful, lonely
you have the capability on my ego, sellfish, stubborness
so, crucify my badness, before it is too late
and you will know that we are one
you convinced me, nothing is pitiful
after in many seconds we passed
let everything changed, make everything different
choose one the best not in everything you put
and all the grief that you put me through will be gone
as in every minute, every second move
then, like the time which is spinning all over...
good or bad,
night and day,
before and after...

someday before, i am just a liar. a liar for my self. but now, i have realized everything. someday before, i am just a scared person. but now, i am brave. brave with my self, brave with what i will do, brave for everything. someday before, i never respect you, never think that you are real, never expected anything from you. but now, you are my reality, you are why i am being brave. trust me, you will always be in my heart
always being my love, as my love is sincere
and my heart won't regret
of knowing you
even you are in a different side of my worth-living


in my reality



you are my blissful

when i wanted you to make you be official without the craziness imaginary, you tought me how to resist... you tought me how to think about the spotlight in my darkness...

maybe, you won't be with a failed... a loser... but, trust me... i want to be with you...

maybe, i won't be with you in recent time... in reality... neither in many other times... believe me, you will always be a part in my heart... and i always do love you, even land and sea have gone...

something happened today
something unpredictable
something surprising...
i opened my window, waiting for some light in the early morning
many sounds appeared... a sweet little sound
i listened to them, then suddenly someone came

in my early dreaming

i used to stop, stop thinking about it... no, him.
but i don't

i know why i can't do that

i know the reason


he is my love,
my heart,
my soul,
my life,
my everything...

he came to my early dreaming, but he mustn't be there
i wonder that i can erase him from my early dreaming, an early stupid but meaningful dreaming...

but in fact, i can't

it is too hard to be done, it is too hard to be erased, it is too hard...

i have tried many ways, in many times
but all i got is just a fake
a failed...

until now, when my realized time came, i used to forget him

but then again, until now...

i can't even do any of those ways...

the sky is too dark, without any passion of light
like no life, no other warmith for earth, for the living
i am standing tough here, wihout anything left, wihout anything to hold

i see the rain

with its sadness feeling

i am standing tall, try to be...

but, at the end, it is hard to believe, that i can't stand tall like i used to
the rain is laughing at me, the moon is smiling at me, so does the sky
but,
nothing can understand
no one can do

now, all i hear is just rain drops
without any other thing can be heard
anything can be known

i am just a dust... in a crowd
i am just a spot... in a big white paper
and i will gone,
by other time in minutes

by other way in second...

i used to like to see the moon, but not tonight. i usually see the moon with its shinny lights, but not tonight. why? it is dark out here. the sky is too dark, too many clouds which closed the moon's lights. but, it really shows something inside my heart... deep inside my heart. i felt empty today. nothing can renew it. nothing can refilled it, nothing... no one... it is too hard to say. it is too hard to be explained. and it is too hard to be solved. i don't know why, but if i looked once again at the sky that used to be beautiful, i realy feel the pain, and when i realized that i am hurting myself by giving everything to him, to a men that i could not reach. i am giving my heart, my life, my soul, and my love that secretly given.. it is hurting myself, cause everything that i have given, didn't effect anything to him. he can't ever know. he knows nothing... nothing till forever... till he knows what do i mean... and until that time, i will wait for him... i hope he will realize...