it is not a short story , but a fact

Hm … where do I have to start it ? okay , first I met a guy named Faruq Suriaganda . he is a guy from Germany but he is Indonesian . he was spending his vacation at my school to learn about Indonesian language and culture . he went here with his little brother Irfan Suriaganda . about Faruq , I didn’t see anything interesting in him for the first time . his appearance was not that good just like an ordinary . so , I focused with his little brother Irfan because he has got a good appearance though he wasn’t as talkative as Faruq . okay , that was the first time I met him . the first thought of mine about him . bur then it changed . I saw him explained something to my friend and it impressed me that much . the way he explained a thing can describe his thoughts , his knowledge . he really impressed me . and from that time I have just known that he has something inside him . he is that smart , intelligent . typical of guy that I am searching for . but I haven’t think about that . I was just thinking how to be closed with him . to know him more . to talk with him much . to listen when he is explaining about something . until I felt in love with him . the way he treat girls were that nice . I never found that kind of guy , maybe its because he used to Germany culture or what , I don’t care . he really can make me interesting in him . I really felt in love with him . but the fact that he will be just a month in here made me think twice to felt in love . and other problems also came one by one . before I was in relationship with him I have already got a problem with someone who is closed to me . I know she also love him and I have decided to let go off him . though it hurts me . she didn’t want to understand and I also cant deny the feeling that I have to him . but I still trying to let go off him and he realized that . one day , he asked me to go out with him just the two of us . I thought it wasn’t a good idea but I accepted it . because I don’t have any other reasons why I should rejected it besides because of her . so , come that day august 17th 2009 , we went together also with my friend named Billy . the really unforgettable time happened at the pool . he confessed to me . one thing that I never imagine , never expected for . because I thought he loves her , that loves him too . he said it was a mistake . he just loves her as his little sister not even more . and he never thought to make a relationship with her . then , because I didn’t want to deny anything I just said that I also feel the same way like he feels . he smiled at him . he said that he loved me for three times in a row –what a funny , I didn’t realize- . and the relationship began . but it was only 15 days left until he went back to Germany . we were really used the time left by being together but nobody knew about our relationship . because I told him not to say it to anybody . we still have some problems at that time . the girl who loved him was disappointed with me and she left me , angry with me . then another problem came . a guy that loved me also felt disappointed because I prefer choose a new guy that I have just met , to him . it hurts him I know , but I was thinking he wouldn’t do anything to me . we just like in a fake relationship . I don’t even want to be with him . he is not a gentleman . he can treat me that good , he cares about me but just that . I cant feel comfortable beside him . I was depressed that day but faruq was still being with me and cheer me up . he convinced me that I could face it . I am his little tough girl . that’s why I can stand tall to face everything . I was just ignoring what people said about our relationship . and I did it . they didn’t disturb me anymore . okay maybe some of them still angry with me . and I realized that time run that fast . it was his last day here . I accompanied him to the airport . after everything prepared , the boarding time came . he hug me that tight I know he didn’t want to let me go . I also didn’t want to let him go . it was hard for us . both of us . I was trying not to cry because I didn’t want to burden him more by crying and I also have promised him . he let go off his hug and walked away from me . he didn’t even say good bye or looked at me . I understood , he just didn’t want to feel harder to let me go . I saw him from far until he gone . I couldn’t stand myself after that time . I cried in my car . I felt that hard to let him go . I felt that hard to realize that he wasn’t here anymore with me to face everything . but then , his words that he will be back soon and he promised me to keep this holding hands made me feel better . I trust in him , he also trust me . the way he called me “lil tough tami” always be in my head . it means that I have to always be that tough girl until I met him again . we both sure about this relationship . we both sure that we can faced the distance . with our promised , our faith , our trust and our love . I love you ef …

Maybe after you read this , you will think that it was just a short story . but it wasn’t . it was really happened in the past at the first time I met my boyfriend named Faruq Suriaganda . I hope you can get something from this story … and I will always keep it in my mind :)

do you ever imagine how if your lover is far away from you ?
it is not just seperated by time , but also land and sea , even continent ..
it is not that easy right ?
how you can trust in your partner , how you act to other lovers , how you still being faithful each other ..
it is unusual , isnt it ?
but , who cares anyways ?
it is something that we've to try if we had being sure with it
it is something that we've to protect
dont ever give up with it , in fact you havent try it
the things that you have to do are :
1. turst aech other
2. being faithful
3. being honest
4. try to keep in contact even it is just for a moment
5. be ready with your long distance relationship
and protect your love inside your heart then you are ready with your relationship ..

that is why i am sure with this Long Distance Relationship ..

for my Germany Boy , i love you .. lets try this Long Distance Relationship :)

Unrequired Love

i am starring at you
looking at your beautiful eyes
it is the truth
your touch i cant forget
your smile that always in my mind
loving you is unnecessary
that you i cant deny
as an unrequired love
having you is just myu wish
we're in different time
land separated us
it is just an unrequired
no confession
as i am happy secretly in love with you ...

broken heart

it is not necessary for me to say i am in love with him
though , i am still doing that in recent
wrong , isnt it ?
no , actually .. but it becomes like that
it used to be a happiness but it comes to be sadness on my hand
why ?
because i insist myself to keep looking for his love
eventhough i know that he won't be mine
but his attitude , his act is just like he gives me some ways
he gives me something that he never gives that to others
that is why i insist myself to be with him
and then , not long after that complicated time
i know that he is not alone
not as i thought
his act to me , his careness to me is just a bull shit
why i said that ?
because the fact tell me that thing
the fact convince me that he is not mine
he wont be mine
i never regret that i have ever like him
but it is just something that i cant expect
i cant fill in
it is just something that hurt me so much
and make me in a really worse time
in a broken heart :(

away from you

I’ve surfed around the world
Passed many times alone
I am on my own footsteps
Away from you …
I’ve searched throughout the world
A lot of things I’ve seen
I’ve learnt about many possibilities
But , why I still being away from you ?
On my own , so far away I lost
On my own , with all the despair
Away from you …
On my own , so far away I roam
For your warm lovin arms
To take me away from pain
And bring me to a wonderland , with you
I don’t want to be
Please don’t let me be
Away from you …

RAIN

rain
it is raining outside
starring at the rain at night
i think it much
somehow rain reflects sorrow
when rain comes there always be a sadness
but then
someone teach me
that rain isnt always reflecting sorrow
but rain also giving us happiness
the joyful , peaceful as it goes
the water that goes down from the sky
it gives earth live
as we never realized
how will our live turn to be without rain
rain
gives us live
gives us feel
gives us joyful
rain
keep make our earth alive
and rain



as your name =)

walking down the street
whispering
looking up the sky
wondering
i am in my own world
i dont need anything else to be conceded
i dont need anyone to be believed
because of you i am living alone in my own world
because of you i cant see anything
because of you i deny the truth
never realized about everything that shown
erased it , forget it
just let it flow and let me be alone
let me passed this with my own sorrow
because the destiny path has being written
not me who asked this for
not me who wanted this be
not me the one
it is you
change my life , make it gone , covered by shadows
i am invincible , though i am a lil girl
you have to know that
that i am invincible because of my self
my own world
then again , i walked alone in my own world with no gravity of reality