valentine's day

last valentine's day is a really good moment. i met him. my love. even it is not as good as i imagine, but it still being a good day. i can meet him. see his face, see his smile, hear his voice, his laugh. hoah... it never happens in my life before. he is the one. he is the first. i really in love with you nda.. rally in love with you. thanks for last valentine's day..

love you nda..

if i am really not you, dont give me your smile
if i never being in your heart, dont respect me
if i will never be yours, dont let me love you more than this
i know you know,
i know you realize,
that everything you have done to me is hurting me
everything that you have done is to make me forget you
but, the fact is... i CANT
you always being in my heart, my thoughts
you know that but you refuse
i am sorry to let you know that i have been like you or even in love with you since the first time we met
i cant handle my feeling
i am sorry
i wont disturb you if you want me to
i am so sorry

in my heart

it is just a group of words. i mean, sentences that i want you all to read. i want you all to understand.

it has been so many times i am in a really confusing time. actually not really that confusing, but it seems to.

nobody understand that i need to be alone and i want to be alone. nobody accept my argument. they just can pushed me to do whatever they want me to be or want me to do. i really hate that. i have tried to warn them, but they didn't hear me. they still pushed me. why it can be happened? when i really need time to be alone, just with my friends, they didn't want to understand me.

i know i have mistakes, but that can't make them being like that. just kinda dictator. i am just a little girl who tried to know about me, myself. i just need time to be understood. but, they didn't give it. i am tired.

but, in this situation, i found something. actually someone. who can accept me and understand me.. thank tou so much for you. just don't try to push me. thank you.. i really thankful...

i am tired

All the days that have passed make me realized
When I am being here, worrying about you
Thinking about you,
Missing you,
Waiting for you,
You are not here
You didn’t respect the care that I have given to you
You didn’t care at me at all
Do you still love me?
Or you want to go away from me?
Do you ready enough to let me go?
If I don’t love you, I have gone away from you
I don’t want to be still right beside you
But,
Do you know that I am still being there?
Right beside you?
Do you understand that?
I have tried everything, but all I got is NOTHING
I am tired
I don’t want to try to think about you anymore
Just let our love story being a memory
Go away from my life, let me be alone with all sorrow that you have given
Thank you for everything
I want to be ALONE

i will let you go

I walk alone in the darkness
I feel pain, feel empty
I am searching for something, something that usually being near me
But now, that thing is missing
I don’t know where it goes or where it lost
I keep searching for it, but I found nothing
Then, I realized that what I have been searching for is go away from me
Don’t want to get back to me
So, how hard I am trying to search it, it doesn’t make any change
And I won’t find it
It will always go away from me, where ever I am searching for
I give up
And I won’t search for it anymore
I will let it go far away from me
Let times give ways to another LOVE that will be in my heart
Because,
How hard I am trying to keep it in my heart,
How hard I am trying to search for it,
All I got is just N . O . T . H . I . N . G

every fear in my life shown up
make me afraid and scared
nobody can dismantle it
nobody can reduce it
it is just my matter
it is just my problem
not any of you are into it
nor YOU !
i have to get through it toughly
even in the end i have to fall
because it is mine, not yours
enough of asking me about me
i am too tired of facing this whole damn world that i have to raise
let me go and let me do this...


A.L.O.N.E.

miracle could happened

these days out, many months passed
nothing changed, not new
it is something that i didnt persue
nothing i can do, i run for, i am looking for
but, in the verge of my things
in the edge of myself
miracle comes, make it new, make it better
i am happy, i am in my happiness
nnow i know what i should do
i know what i have been looking for
and i believe that miracle could happened
and miracle could changed