hope

when you come and bring me the happiness that i never have
i felt thankful
when you are mine and being beside me
i felt joyful
but then you go away from my life
you left me naked behind
without happiness and strength to stand still
you let me be alone with my sorrow
i hardly breathe the air without you by my side
i loose everything i got in life
you know that i love you in every beat of my heart
i know you love me, even though you left me behind
now, i just can wondering your face, your smile, your laugh
i just can remembering you by everything i got from you
and hope the best for you in your life
hope that i am still there in your heart
because you will always be here in my heart, in sorrow also happiness
i hope that there will be someone better than me
that can make you laugh an d smile
brought you happiness
and i will standing here, starring at you
with hope and wonder

hardly breathe

it is something that i cant ignore . I dont want to refuse , i dont want to deny the truth . I have to convinced that i cant live without you . I hardly breathe the air without you by my side . Its like no air around . I am dying without you here . I want to stay alive walking by your side , starring at your face , looking at the way you talked . It has been like heaven to touch . Being there , being yours . I love you as deep as i could , until the end even land and sea has gone . Even you are not always being beside me .. But i trust that you love me .

m.i.s.s.e.d you

missing you is something that i cant undo. i always do that every time i saw your face or even just remembering your name. you always being in my heart, that is why i cant stop missing you. even maybe you are not missing me as i do, but i will always missing you without any command from you. it is truly come out from my heart and i dont want to stop it. please, trust me that i am missing you and really in love with you.. please trust me.. =)

changes

everyone has their own changes. it is not their fault if they changed into someone new. the problem is just about time and how they know the differences between good or bad. we cant judge their changes we just can remind them about the bad changes. it depends on them, whether they want to accept it or they just want to refuse it.
i have my own experience of changing my life into a new me.

for the first time, nobody wants to accept my changes. they just can judge me and refuse the changes of me. but, i keep moving. i keep being me, my self, the new me even they still refuse it. i keep trying and trying. it has been being so long after the first time i did my changes, but they still refuse it. so, i didnt care at anything again. i just like my changes and also my parents, my big family like it. so, whether they like it or not, i am still moving and keep going with my self, the new me.

that is my story and that is just for an example. i dont want to put it in reality. i just want to share it, anyways. and i hope it wont happened again in any of your reality. keep being the best and move on eith your good changes. =)

valentine's day

last valentine's day is a really good moment. i met him. my love. even it is not as good as i imagine, but it still being a good day. i can meet him. see his face, see his smile, hear his voice, his laugh. hoah... it never happens in my life before. he is the one. he is the first. i really in love with you nda.. rally in love with you. thanks for last valentine's day..

love you nda..

if i am really not you, dont give me your smile
if i never being in your heart, dont respect me
if i will never be yours, dont let me love you more than this
i know you know,
i know you realize,
that everything you have done to me is hurting me
everything that you have done is to make me forget you
but, the fact is... i CANT
you always being in my heart, my thoughts
you know that but you refuse
i am sorry to let you know that i have been like you or even in love with you since the first time we met
i cant handle my feeling
i am sorry
i wont disturb you if you want me to
i am so sorry

in my heart

it is just a group of words. i mean, sentences that i want you all to read. i want you all to understand.

it has been so many times i am in a really confusing time. actually not really that confusing, but it seems to.

nobody understand that i need to be alone and i want to be alone. nobody accept my argument. they just can pushed me to do whatever they want me to be or want me to do. i really hate that. i have tried to warn them, but they didn't hear me. they still pushed me. why it can be happened? when i really need time to be alone, just with my friends, they didn't want to understand me.

i know i have mistakes, but that can't make them being like that. just kinda dictator. i am just a little girl who tried to know about me, myself. i just need time to be understood. but, they didn't give it. i am tired.

but, in this situation, i found something. actually someone. who can accept me and understand me.. thank tou so much for you. just don't try to push me. thank you.. i really thankful...